Hi Lara! I love how you used very descriptive words. How you described things was amazing! It really painted a picture in my mind. Next time yo might want to add some commas. Otherwise, Well done!
I really like the way that you used interesting words like abandoned, tickled, twisting and foggy. I have always wondered what it would be like to go into a dark abandoned cave and now with your story I know! Perhaps next time you could try to use a different colour font or background because I couldn't read your writing in places very well. Great Job Lara!!!
Hi Lara, Nice piece of writing, Maybe next time you could add some commas because at some points you need a breath but you can’t take one because there is no comma. But otherwise very good : ) If you want to check out my blog here’s my URL https://odssashat.blogspot.co.nz/
Hi Lara!
ReplyDeleteI love how you used very descriptive words. How you described things was amazing! It really painted a picture in my mind. Next time yo might want to add some commas. Otherwise, Well done!
I really like the way that you used interesting words like abandoned, tickled, twisting and foggy. I have always wondered what it would be like to go into a dark abandoned cave and now with your story I know! Perhaps next time you could try to use a different colour font or background because I couldn't read your writing in places very well.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Lara!!!
Awww thanks
DeleteGreat story Lara
ReplyDeleteI like how you used descriptive words in your writing. Also just wondering how you smell foggy breath?
Hi Lara,
ReplyDeleteNice piece of writing, Maybe next time you could add some commas because at some points you need a breath but you can’t take one because there is no comma. But otherwise very good : ) If you want to check out my blog here’s my URL https://odssashat.blogspot.co.nz/